Take one small, inbred country town.
Add a psychotic, delusional orphan girl.
Throw in a splash of raspberry cordial.
Mix thoroughly.
What do you get?
That’s been my question. Continue reading
2
I’m Zorro, only with a Sharpie.
The first time was at Home Depot. I stood in line, waiting to make a return, when I was assaulted. The sign said something like, “Bring you’re return’s to the front counter.”
I tried to ignore it.
Really. Continue reading
When is it good to say good enough is good enough?
Last time, I was talking about the astounding level of mediocrity that I find in my classroom. I’m not just talking about the things they don’t know—like my World History student who thinks that Christianity has its roots in the teachings of Confucius.
Seriously.
No, I’m talking about the level of effort I see—and the level of effort that is rewarded.
What can I do to teach my own kids to be more than mediocre? Continue reading
For the record…30% is not usually good.
In baseball, batting .300 is only so-so.
In basketball, hitting 3 out of 10 free throws is not impressive.
In a classroom, 30% is an F. Large-scale F. Like, If the grades went any lower than “F,” you’d get that lower grade kind of failure.
So why, when recording a stack of student-graded quizzes, did I come across a paper with “6/20=30%—Good Job!!” written on it? Continue reading
Am I a bold, self-assured man, confident in the gifts and talents God has given me?
Or am I an arrogant jerk?
That was rhetorical—you don’t need to answer.
Please. Continue reading
Oh, Yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of living is gone…
A singularly depressing and unwholesome song, yet possessing a kernel of truth.
I’ve rambled on before about how theater is kind of a metaphor for life. I think of this again as I prepare for the second-to-last weekend of Treasure Island. Continue reading
The hair is red.
The gables are green.
The clothing is Late 19th Century-Eastern-Canadian-hick.
Hey kids—let’s put on a show!
*Note: My family still hasn’t decided what we will do regarding our dietary dilemma. For those of you who are wondering feverishly what we will eat, I must say that I’m flattered…and vaguely disturbed. Rest assured; it will be the subject of a post or two or ten once we figure it all out.
So much for the Public Service Announcement—on with the post!
Not me…not yet
I fear my barber.
Not the man, so much—he’s a nice guy. I fear what he represents. You see, every time I go to see him, I know that it may be the time. The time when he says, “You know, Michael…you’re getting pretty thin up here…it might be time to try something different.”
Different like… Continue reading
Wheat,
Oh Wheat
You’re so much more than just a treat.
You are the core of all I eat.
I wrap bread ‘round a piece of meat,
Or bake a chocolate cake—so sweet.
You make my dining life complete,
Oh Wheat Continue reading
I like food.
Really, I’m a big fan. I like meat, and potatoes, and rice, and veggies (for the most part), and fruit, and bread, and grease, and ooey gooey yummy sticky chocolaty stuff.
Mexican food? Oh, yeah. Italian? Chinese? Bring it on. Sausages full of secrets from around the world—and around the pig? Make it so, brother.
I’m not a sushi fan—I’ll admit to that. Squid is a “No,” as is any sort of snailish creature. And once when I was in China I was served a soup with both halves of a very dead pigeon bobbing in it—seriously creeped me out. Continue reading