#17 on The List: Reclaim body from a year of neglect and failed exercise programs.

Not so much yet.

It’s not entirely my fault.  I didn’t overdo—I thought.  My plan called for a mix of the basics: pushups, sit-ups, chin-ups, and a short run.  The whole thing was designed to take maybe 30 minutes per day.  Totally doable.  Of course, I failed to factor in the damage already done by the rose arch I told you about last time.  Nor did I consider what quad riding in the desert with Alec would do to the totality of my physique.  (Amazing day by the way—I’ll tell you about it another time.)   Suffice to say that Advil, ice, and home-devised traction are my close personal friends this week.

I come away from yet another failed journey into the land of fitness with three tips, which I generously share with you:

1. Don’t begin an exercise program when you are already in pain.  The temptation will be there.  You will think to yourself, “How could I be sore after such a little thing as trimming the roses?  I need to get in shape!”  You will be full of fire to reclaim the glory days of your youth.  This is the path to despair, my friend.  If you begin now, you will only exacerbate the soriosity and feelings of patheticalness.  Wait until you are recovered, so that you at least have a chance of success.  Besides, your glory days were none so glorious, and they hurt, too.
2. Plan carefully, and cut your original expectations in half before you actually begin to exercise.  For example, if you are thinking, “I can do 3 sets of 20 pushups every morning,” you are wrong.  You will do it the first morning, but on the morning of Day 2 you will be unable to lift the toothbrush to your face.  Make it sets of ten, five, or even three—give yourself a shot at victory.  Once your body realizes that this time you are going to make it past Day 3, you can think about adding to the regimen.
3. If you have a dog, allow it to be part of the exercise experience.  Dogs are very supportive.  Mandy likes to encourage me with a lick at the top of every sit-up, and if she could figure out the whole pushup experience, I know she would help out there, as well.  Dogs are particularly helpful when you go for a run.  Let your dog drag you around the block—you are guaranteed to shave precious seconds off your time.

**Note: do not involve cats in your exercise routine.  Cats are not supportive of your personal goals.  A cat will mock you.

There you go.  Valuable advice—a bargain at twice the price!

I’m not giving up.  I think that the 30 minute per day idea has merit.  I’m also considering exercising at night rather than in the morning.  I won’t be in such a rush to get to work, and it might give me a little energy boost in the evening, when my Chair of Delight beckons.  I want to live a life that is worthy of the calling.  That takes discipline in all areas, but this area seems to be the most visible, and the most challenging for me.

What about you?  Leave a comment below, and tell me what your workout goals are.  How do you plan to keep your Temple of the Holy Spirit from devolving into a tenement? Share your success story…or your failure story.  We’re all friends here.

Just remember—don’t listen to the cat.