One-a-Day Monday 8/3/15

number 1Now give me the hill country… (Joshua 14:12).

When Moses and the Israelites were poised to enter the Promised Land, God had Moses send twelve men out to scout the area.  When they returned, ten of the men were Negative Neds…or maybe Downer Dans.  Anyway, they were terrified, and told everyone that the land was filled with giants. If the Israelites crossed the Jordan and tried to enter that land, they were gonna get squished.

That was ten of them.

The other two men were Joshua and Caleb.  They agreed that there were giants over there, but they trusted God to give them the land as He had promised.  They said, in effect, “Hey Boys, let’s go giant hunting!”

The people listened to the fear mongers, as people so often do, and didn’t want to cross the river and face those scary giants.  God responded by giving them their wish, condemning them to wander the desert until all the adults of that rebellious generation had died off.

Except for Joshua and Caleb.  As they had stood for God, so he stood for them.

Fast forward 45 years…

The new generation has crossed the Jordan.  They are in the process of taking the Promised Land.  Joshua is parceling out land to the various tribes when along comes Caleb—crusty, dusty, 85-year-old Caleb.  He wants Hebron, the hill country—one of the toughest areas in the whole land.  Promise or no, Caleb won’t take this land without a fight.  He could have an easier portion, but he chooses the challenge.  Caleb chooses to dive into the fray and let God show his faithfulness.

I have a friend named John.  In a few hours, John will be undergoing surgery to remove a mass that has taken up residence in his brain.

Scary?  Yep.

When I went to see him the other evening, John was deep in the Word, reading the above passage about Caleb.  The phrase, Give me the hill country, had become his rallying cry.

I like that.

Look, I know John’s scared.  Only a fool would ignore the giants facing him, and John’s no fool—though don’t tell him I said that.  But my friend has dreams, things he wants to accomplish with his life and for his God, and he isn’t about to let a few giants get in the way of so much Promise.  This morning, John goes giant hunting.

And what about you, Beloved?  Are you focused on the giants, or on the Promise?

Go claim your hill country.

Roller Coaster

number 1I am not a fan of heights.
Roller coasters most often involve great heights.
Therefore…
When I was about twelve years old, I got to spend the day at Knott’s Berry Farmwith my best friend, Michael. My friend knew I was afraid of roller coasters, and he decided that this was the day for me to conquer my fear. The roller coaster of choice at the park in those days was called Corkscrew, and Michael was determined to get me on that ride. He spoke with all the eloquence his twelve-year-old self could muster about safety records and engineering and not being a wusmeister.
I didn’t want to be a wusmeister. So I rode the ride.
Thanks, peer pressure.
We chose the very last car, so that I could see Mr. Death when he came for me. Climbing into the seat, I knew I was in trouble. There was a keep-you-from-running-for-your-life device (Michael called it a safety bar, but I knew better) that came down over my head and locked into position across my torso. It made a clickey-clickey
sound as it ratcheted into place.
I hate clickey-clickey sounds.
I also hated the fact that this safety bar, while crossing my chest, did not fully encapsulate my pencil-like frame. With a wiggle, I
could free either or both shoulders, even with the bar locked down as tightly as it would go. I had a feeling that was not the way it was supposed to work, but I kind of liked having an escape hatch, should the need arise.
There was a cute roller coaster helper girl whose job, it seems, was to walk down the row of seats, checking safety bars and destroying confidence. She was very good at her job. As she reached me, she flashed a smile. Now, this was the first summer that I fully appreciated the magical difference between the smile of a
pretty girl and that of your Uncle Frank, so I basked in the momentary glow.
She began to speak. I was sure she would commend me for me for my great courage, and ask me to wear some token of her favor
as I went off to battle Mr. Death. Instead, she said something like, “You better hold on tight, kid. You’re so skinny you might just fly right out of your seat.”
Thus quintupling my terror, undermining my incipient manhood, and planting deep within my heart self-image issues that continue to this day.
Thanks, Toots.
Apparently this girl also had the authority to send us hurtling to our demise, and she did so without a flicker of hesitation.
It began, tauntingly, with a slow climb straight up to a height of about three miles.  The entire time, the car made a
clickey-clickey sound.
Did I mention that I hate that sound?
As we reached the apex of our death climb, I felt a compulsion to free myself from the safety bar and run to freedom. My friend Michael tried to distract me by telling me to look around and enjoy the view from several thousand feet in theair. “Look,” he said. “You can see everything!”
Yeah…everything I had for breakfast.
Bowing again to the wusmeister pressure, I looked off to my left. We were level with the roof of what must have been a world-class
skyscraper. I realized that if I could get out of my restraining device, I could leap to the building—it couldn’t have been more than fifty feet—and save myself.
That’s how my mind works under such conditions.
I had one shoulder free when I noticed a person on the roof of the building. I paused in my struggle for a moment to wonder what he was doing there…
And lost my chance to escape.
The coaster began its descent into madness. You know how it goes from here. I kept my eyes open—so Mr. Death couldn’t sneak up on me—and my cheeks clenched. I gripped the safety bar for dear life—especially since I had one shoulder out of the harness. My heart pounded with adrenalin, my throat erupted with screams, my bladder very nearly emptied, and when it was finally
over…
We did it again.
O.K., so roller coaster=metaphor for life. I’m sure you figured that out early on.  And I’m just as sure that you don’t need me to connect all the dots for you, because you’re just that savvy. My readers—both of you—know how to pull the
profound from the prosaic.
But if you will indulge me, I shall point out a few things…
The roller coaster was not a random amalgamation of wheels and wire. It was carefully designed by someone who knew what he was
doing. Regardless of what my panicky brain told me, I was safe the entire time.
I wanted to get out of my safety harness at the precise time I needed it most. If I had actually followed my plan, ignoring the Designer, it would have resulted in quite a mess for the park personnel.
I had no control over this ride. There was no steering wheel. There was no brake.  Which was just as well, since everything was flying
past at the speed of light. Had I been able to control the coaster, I would have wrought havoc and pain. All I could do was trust the Designer and obey directions.
Trust and obey.
What roller coaster are you on today? May I be so bold as to suggest that you relax your need for control and trust the Designer?
And be prepared for the ride of your life.
Go ahead and clench your cheeks, but keep your eyes open.
You don’t want to miss a thing.

Power 

number 1Never underestimate the power of a good connection.

A couple of weeks ago, the power went out in two of our rooms.  It was puzzling. Why, I wondered, would the power go out in only two rooms, and only to the wall sockets—and only some of the sockets, at that?  Yes, you probably know all about electrical circuits and how contractors always put sockets on a separate circuit from the lights.  You’re very smart that way.  Where were you when I was trying to figure all this out?

The mystery increased when the power suddenly came back on…then went off again…then came partially on…then went out again and took additional sockets with it, just for spite.  Short circuit?  Poltergeist?  Time to investigate.

Please remember that, while I have the heart of a handyman, I have the hands of a history teacher.  You may recall that I once tried to fix Cathy’s electric oven.  We were dating, and I was confident that I could wow her with my manlifixitosity.  I jiggled this, and wiggled that, and I did have a very primal kind of success—I made fire.

In an electric oven.

Not so good.

But hey, that was a long time ago, and I’ve learned a lot of…stuff…since then.  So, I decided to figure this problem out.  I jiggled this and wiggled that and generally looked for something loose or…wrong looking. (“Wrong looking” is a technical term, by the way.  Use it and people will think you are skilled.) Then I found it…a scorched outlet.  That must be the problem!

Nope.

I mean, it looked like the problem.  It really should have been the problem.  But, after replacing the socket—six screws total…are you impressed?—I encountered a conundrum.

No juice.

A beautiful, well-installed socket, sans power.

I know, you’re thinking, “Circuit breaker!  Circuit Breaker!”

Of course I checked the circuit breaker.  In fact, I checked all of the circuit breakers, since whoever labeled my circuit breaker box used symbols from a magical land that only he has ever visited.  Nada.  Nadissimo.

I had done all I knew to do, and some things I didn’t.  It was time to call in the medium gun.  I would have called in the big guns, but the big guns are expensive.  The medium gun—my former-apprentice-electrician-while-working-his-way-through-college friend—works for the delight of my company.

And the fear of lifelong guilt if he doesn’t come over and I electrocute myself.

In any case, he inspected my work, pronounced it acceptable, and proceeded to not fix my problem.  Oh, he jiggled and wiggled with far more authority than I did, but with the same result.

No juice.

With a sigh, I caved and called in a real electrician with tools and wires and a truck and everything.  He came; he saw; he chuckled; he fixed.

Are you ready for the big anticlimax?

Circuit breaker.

But I had checked the circuit breaker!  Multiple times!  Honest!

It turns out, according to Mr. Electrician Man, that a little bit of dust or fluff or whatnot had gotten into the circuit breaker and was breaking the connection.  It looked good from the outside, but power couldn’t flow.  He smacked it, and all was well.

Eesh.

I hadn’t realized that I was in need of yet another humbling experience.  It seems that I was wrong.

Hmm…

All that power, blocked by a little bit of dust, dirt, earth—a little bit of the World, if you will. All that power running through the circuit breaker, which looked fine on the outside, but…

Chew on that for a minute.

So, when you consider your heart, when you think of the Holy Spirit moving in and through you, when you feel the things of the world getting in there and spoiling the connection, ask yourself this:

What’s your fluff?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Test me, and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting.

 

Breaking Point 

number 1I have a ladder which I like quite a bit.  Apart from its inherent usefulness, the thing I appreciate most about this piece of household equipment is that it clearly communicates its limitations to me.  There is a bold sticker on the side that says, “Max. wt. 300 lbs.”  If you weigh in at 350 and you hoist yourself up on my ladder, you’re going to have problems—and don’t come crying to me about it.

Ladders, bridges, fishing line—they all have a breaking point, and they all come clearly labelled so that you don’t expect more of them than you should.  If only people…

Today, a story of breaking points. Gird your loins–it’s a bit long for a Wednesday, but it does involve riots, crazy people, and secret police.  I think you’ll enjoy the ride.

It was my last day in Romania, just past Easter of 1990.  The entire nation had reached a breaking point just a few months earlier.  The people had absorbed the final ounce of torment from their dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu, and had removed him from power—rather violently and rather permanently.  I had come in later as part of a team to minister to the Christian churches, who were adding a measure of corporeal freedom to their freedom in Christ.  Now, my time was done, and I was looking to go home.

My plans were thwarted by another group of people who had reached a breaking point—the Romanian airline pilots.  It seems that they had grown tired of being paid bus driver wages for flying 747’s, and had decided to exercise their newfound capitalistic power.  They went on strike.  By the time I arrived at the airport for my morning flight to London, the place was teeming with thousands of travelers who had places to go, but no way to get there.

And now the fun began.

Thus far the breaking points I have mentioned were good things.  People had decided that enough was enough and had taken action to correct injustice.  Hoorah.  But now, plunge with me into the seamy side of breaking points—what happens when people just can’t deal with life.

I was fortunate to find a fellow English speaker—British, but close enough in dangerous times—and a calm corner from which I could observe the fomenting riots.  You see, after more than six hours of waiting for negotiations with the pilots to be successful, while passengers continued to arrive for flights that continued to not depart, people began to get cranky.  Complaining became shouting became screaming became pushing became punching became kiosk throwing became ransacking.

Breaking point.

Suddenly, the second-floor railing was ringed with soldiers carrying implements of doom, and a strange thing happened.  People who had, moments before, been consumed by chaotic rage found an extra measure of self-control.  Perhaps it was their civilized nature rising to the surface; perhaps it was the sound of a hundred automatic weapons being charged simultaneously.  Regardless, the mellow spread quickly.

The peace held, albeit by its fingernails.  No one rioted when, after ten hours in the terminal, our flight was loaded on a bus, driven a quarter mile out onto the tarmac, and left.  By left, I mean that a small car pulled up alongside the bus, our driver got out of the bus and into the car, and it drove away.  We were abandoned like Fay Wray, waiting to be taken by the Kong.

A planeful of people.

Stuffed on a bus.

Standing room only.

For forty-five minutes.

But we didn’t riot.  Sure, we might have rocked the bus a little, but that wasn’t a breaking point.  That was just some harmless fun.  Besides, it stopped when the bus went up on two wheels

the third time

so it’s not like we tipped over or anything.

Things were rather uneventful after that.  They eventually brought us a plane, and aboard we climbed.  I got a glimpse of the cockpit—secured from terrorism by a heavy-duty curtain—as I passed.  Dials, switches, hand cranks, and a man in the navigator’s chair perusing what I am sure was a Thomas Guide.  No computers or electronics to complicate things.  Keep it simple.

We were seated, announcements were made, and at long last we were aloft.  I must admit to a little trepidation whenever the crew made announcements, which of course happened several times throughout the flight.  You see, this was a Romanian airline, so it is only reasonable that the announcements were made first in Romanian.  German came next, then something that sounded like Tagalog, but probably wasn’t, and then English.  The pattern went something like this:

Romanian announcement lasting 30 seconds.

German announcement lasting 20 seconds.

Tagalog (?) announcement lasting 15 seconds.

English: “Please stay in your seats.”

I couldn’t help feeling that I was missing important information, but what could I do?

The flight was surprisingly uneventful for about an hour; then we reached the day’s final breaking point.  I do not know her name—I will simply call her The Troubled Woman.  She came suddenly and without warning from the back of the plane, bursting the exhaustion bubble of people who were now thirteen hours late for their destinations and still in the air.  The Troubled Woman ran up the aisle of the plane…then back down the aisle…then back up, all the while yelling, “We must stop them!  They’ve trapped us on this plane!  They’re keeping us hostage!  They’ve taken our children!

I don’t know what children.  There were no children on the plane.  Perhaps because they had already taken them.

My British friend from the terminal and I were all attention.  We had been passing the time playing, “Spot the secret policeman.”  We were convinced it was a thin man with a bad suit and a worse mustache about three rows from the back of the plane.  Sure enough, as The Troubled Woman ranted, Securitate Bob leaped from his seat, grabbed The Troubled Woman—who now began to shriek—and ushered her toward the front of the plane.  Two flight attendants emerged from the front, and The Troubled Woman was pulled behind a curtain separating the cabin from Flight Attendant Land.  Her shrieks continued for about seven seconds

then stopped abruptly.

After a few moments, we heard the:

Romanian announcement lasting 30 seconds.

German announcement lasting 20 seconds.

Tagalog (?) announcement lasting 15 seconds.

English: “Please stay in your seats.”

It all sounded normal, but they weren’t fooling anyone.  We were just wondering if they had sedated The Troubled Woman or simply smothered her with a pillow.

You think I’m making this up…but I’m not that good.

About twenty minutes later, the curtain was yanked aside and The Troubled Woman emerged.  She faced us very calmly and said, “I’m sorry, but you had to know how I feel.  You simply had to know how I feel.”  Then hands reached out from behind the curtain, and she was hauled back out of sight.

We cheered her.  It had been that kind of day.

Hey, Michael–any chance you have a point to make in all of this?

Yeah…there’s a chance.

Life can be crazy, and we all have our breaking points.  It would be great if we were clearly labelled, like bridges or fishing line, but we’re not.  Often you don’t realize you’ve hit your breaking point until Securitate Bob comes for you with the syringe.  He’s come for me several times over the years—metaphorically speaking.

But on that day in Romania I did not break.  I was twenty-one years old, alone and essentially trapped in a foreign country filled with crazy people—and I was fine.  Why?  I think I had stumbled upon a key that I have lost and found many times over the years.  It goes like this:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2)

I was on a mission trip.  I had been bathing in the Word and in prayer for weeks.  When crisis hit, I was so deep in God that I was able to sit back and watch him take care of it…and me.  It’s a lesson I need to remember but often forget.

When this world is all you have, you will rise and fall on its turbulence.  When your trust is in God, you will be held steady through the storm.  But, of course, the preparation has to come before the crisis.  Trees don’t sink roots while the wind is raging. The fortress is not built during the battle.  Take the time now, my friend.  Sink your roots deep into the Rock.  Make your foundation solid and firm.

Don’t make me call Securitate Bob.

 

Big Cross/Little Cross

number 1I’m driving along and I get stuck in a massive traffic jam.  Inching my way down the road, I fret, wondering if I will get to where I need to go by the time I need to be there.  Then, up ahead on the right, I see the cause of the jam—an overturned car.  The thought that runs through my head—I kid you not—is, “Oh good.  It’s an accident.  Once I get past that, the speed will pick up.”

Tell me you’ve done that, at least once.  I’d hate to think I’m the only one.

My mantra of late has been, “It’s not about me.”  Sounds noble, except that I say it through gritted teeth.  Because, in the end, it usually is about me.  I didn’t say it should be—I just said it is.  I suppose that’s normal enough.  We all see the world through the filter of our own situations, needs, desires.  But we’re not called to be normal, are we?

The title of this blog is A Life Worthy.  It’s based on Ephesians 4:1, in which Paul encourages us to live a life “worthy of the calling we have received.”  I’m having a tough time supporting the premise that God has called me to a life focused on myself.  After all, Jesus said, “…not my will, but yours” (Matthew 26:39).  The Lord of the Universe, He Who Spoke and it Was, said, in essence, “It’s not about me.”  He said it in Gethsemane.  He showed it on the cross.

He meant it.

There are big crosses and little crosses.  I think I could be a martyr, if the need arose.  Seriously.   I think that, if someone stuck a gun in my face and told me to deny Christ, I would take the bullet with joy.  Similarly, if someone desperately needed me, I think I would race into the burning building, dive into the freezing water, leap into the path of the oncoming train.  Those are big crosses, and they come with a payoff—people think you’re awesome.  So, really, even when it’s not about me, it ends up being about me.  Besides, it’s easy to say I’d do these things—what are the chances that any of those moments will come to a middle school teacher?

The little crosses are different.  They come along every day—and I can bear them easily enogh.  I just don’t want to.  Lately, it seems that everywhere I turn, I’m confronted with “It’s not about me,” moments.  Home, work, friends—I face endless opportunities to develop a servant’s heart, if only I could stop gritting my teeth.

OK, here’s a classic example from the recent past.  The Wife of My Heart was ill, so I decided to make her Michael’s Miracle Healing Elixir Chicken Soup of Delight.  Now, I’d had an insanely long day, and I was desperate for sleep.  I had to stop at the store for ingredients, and the soup would take well over an hour to prepare.  But none of that mattered.  I only wanted to serve the one I love.  For a brief, shining moment, it really wasn’t about me.  Then Cathy asked me to pick up a few other things while I was already at the market, and I went into a snit.  A full-fledged, honest-to-goodness snit.

What is my problem?

Better question: What is my solution?

Jesus said, “Take my yoke and learn from me…”  OK, a yoke is a tool used to guide and control oxen—among the dumbest animals ever to walk the planet.   Should work for me.  So, guide me, Lord.  Steer me—no pun intended.  Teach me how you, the Lord of all, were willing to be born, to live, and to die as a servant.

I’m sure this is overly simplistic, and I’m probably missing a ton here—feel free to correct me.  But as I look at the life of Jesus, I see that spending time alone with the Father was a huge priority for him.  Time and again we see that Jesus chose to go off by himself and pray.  Those times were essential to him.  Non-negotiable.  I am not about to surmise what happened in Christ’s quiet time with the Father, but I know what happens in mine.

When I am alone with the Father he realigns my priorities and my vision. It’s like waking up in the morning and putting on my glasses.  Suddenly everything becomes clear.   A few moments’ time before the throne is usually sufficient to remind me of what is important—and what is not.  It’s amazing how small most of my concerns seem when viewed from His perspective.

When I am alone with the Father he reminds me of who I am—and who I am not.  He reminds me that I am sin, every day, and then graciously allows me to repent and be restored, every day.  He reminds me that I am his precious, beloved child, called out of this world to love him and to bring him glory. He reminds me that I am his servant, called to humble obedience, even as Christ demonstrated.

He reminds me that I am not God, no matter how badly my flesh wishes I were.

When I am alone with the Father he fills my tanks.  He gives me the desire to serve him, and then equips me with the love, the wisdom, the grace to do it. I don’t have to manufacture love—he gives it to me.  I don’t have to say, “It’s not about me,” through gritted teeth.  He gives me joy to sing it aloud.

Can it really be that straightforward?  Can the key to becoming more like him be as simple as spending time with him?  Then why do I make it so hard?

Answer me that, and you’re my hero for life.

Come with me, my friend.  Commit to spending the time with him to let him mold you, shape you—the Potter and the clay, Baby.  Then we will have the strength to bear the crosses he gives us.

The big ones.

And the little ones.

 

 

 

 

The Gospel According to Popeye

number 1As a child, I used to skip church to watch Popeye cartoons.

Go ahead…judge away.

In all fairness to my 10-year-old self, it wasn’t just Popeye.  It was the whole Popeye and Friends show, featuring George of the Jungle and Super Chicken.  This was, as far as I know, the only place to see Super Chicken and his sidekick Fred, and they were well worth seeing.  And the show was hosted by Tom Hatten, who took little squiggles that kids drew and turned them into cool cartoons.

Up against all that, church didn’t stand much of a chance.  I guess you could say that my walk with Christ lacked a certain intensity in those days.

I did, however, gain an important piece of wisdom from my bandy-legged, spinach-munching hero.  It was a Scripture verse, though I didn’t realize it at the time.

And you didn’t even realize that Popeye the Sailor Man was a believer, did you?

Popeye’s verse—I’m assuming his life verse, went like this:

“I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam.”

I’m sure you recognize this as a slightly, uh, personalized form of 1 Corinthians 15:10a, which reads, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.”

This verse has been popping into my head a lot recently.  It’s Paul speaking, and he has just finished telling folks that he considers himself the least of the apostles. He says he doesn’t even consider himself worthy to be called an apostle, yet he recognizes that God is still at work in him and through him.

Hmmm…

There are various aspects of my personality with which I have been struggling for years.  You know, character traits that just aren’t part of who I want to be.  As I pull 40 with a longer and longer rope, I’ve been starting to wonder if I will ever win the Battle of Michael.

Here are a few lessons that have arisen from my ponderings.  I doubt that they apply to you, since from the look of it you’ve got it all together.  Still, you’ve read this far; might as well finish…

First, I have to stop trying to fundamentally change my character.  If I’m to believe God—and if I’m not, what’s the point of all this—then I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  God formed me and knew me in the womb.  He is shaping me as the potter shapes the clay.  Each aspect of my personality was chosen for me by the One who loves me most.  To try to change that—to try to be someone other than the one he has created—is sort of a slap in his face.  It’s telling him that his plan is not good enough, that his creation is not good enough.  Time to accept that I yam what I yam.

Second, character traits are neither good nor bad…they just are.  A sharp blade can be a tool of evil in the hand of a murderer.  It can be an instrument of healing in the hand of a surgeon.  The same is true of our personalities; each aspect can be used for harm or help, depending upon who is doing the using.

The character that produces temper by the flesh produces Godly passion when submitted to the Holy Spirit.

By the same Spirit, weakness becomes gentleness

Laziness becomes contentment

Legalism becomes the pursuit of Truth

Stubbornness becomes strength

Sarcasm becomes insight

The loner becomes independent

The needy, clingy person becomes a faithful friend

The brutally honest person speaks the truth in love

The perfectionist seeks excellence for the glory of God.

The difference?  God’s grace.

It’s always his grace.

Which brings me to the third thing I’ve realized: God’s grace is at work in me.  I am God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:210), and he who began this work will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6).  Until that day comes, I have to rest in the fact that I yam what I yam.  This is not an excuse; it’s an acknowledgement.  I will fail sometimes, not because I’m a failure, but because I’m learning and growing and trying.  So sometimes I will fall.

Sometimes I will stand.

I will never win the Battle of Michael.  And I don’t have to.  God has already won it; my job is to walk in that victory. I am who I am.

I will never be perfect.

I will always be his.

Happy Monday, Beloved.

Poser

number 1I teach Middle Schoolers—perhaps the biggest bunch of walking insecurities ever to grace the planet.  So concerned with the approval of others, so lost as to their own identity.  I am many years and many miles removed from Middle School.

Mostly.

 

Poser

I care so much what you all think of me.

Too much, really

I stand before you as I would a mirror

Trying to show my best side

Hide my flaws

I pose

It’s what I do

What I am

If I let you see what is really in me you will run

As well you should

So you see only what I would show you

Part of me

The part that does not bring shame

The part that looks worthy and right and good.

“Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me.”

On Sunday I’m OK with that

On Friday…not so much

They are potent words.

Terrifying words

Healing words

Saving words

Words I am not brave enough to embrace.

To be known is…dangerous

Vulnerable

So I ape a form that is not mine, and strike a posture that I hope is convincing.

I like the pose—it is wise and good and Godly and not me.

I pray that someday my form will fit this pose I take

That I will become

The man I pretend to be.

The Accidental Witness—Part Two

number 1Yesterday, I discussed the idea of witnessing by accident.  If you missed that post, you would be best off to go and read it, then come back to this one.  Otherwise, this current story will have a less profound impact on your life, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?

Ready? Let’s go…

Romania, 1990.  I was on a mission trip, and had the opportunity to preach.  It was a brutally humbling experience, during which I learned that the word “gypsy,” while innocuous in the West, is a full-blown racial slur in Romania.

Oops.

In any case, after the service a young man about my age came up to me and introduced himself as Ovidiu.  He spoke creditable English, and asked if he could show me around the city.  Anxious to escape the whispers and stares caused by my inadvertent racial epithet, I jumped at the chance.  Off we went.

The two of us spent several hours sightseeing and conversing.  Ovidiu told me about life in Romania, and how it had changed since the fall of the dictator Nicolai Ceausescu (which had occurred just three months before my visit).  I told my new friend about my life in America, and how God was at work, not only in my country, but in me.

That evening, we returned for the evening church service, where I managed to bring greetings without causing an international incident.  After I finished, the pastor took over.  At the end of his message, the pastor gave an altar call, and my new friend came forward to accept Christ.

My new friend who I thought was already a believer.

I had assumed I was fellowshipping; it seems I was witnessing.

Later, we talked, and Ovidiu explained the situation.  His mother was a member of this church, and was constantly trying to get her son “saved.”  He had no interest in such things.  She had finally persuaded him to come to church that morning to see the American speak.  Ovidiu had invited me to go sightseeing, not for fellowship, but simply to practice his English.  During our time together, Ovidiu had listened to me talk of Christ.  “You made it sound so normal, so natural,” he said to me.  “You made me think that it might really be true.”

Praise God that I didn’t know I was witnessing to Ovidiu.  If I had, I probably would have driven him miles away from God with Christianese and lofty blather.

Because I’ve done that too, you know.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that we shouldn’t witness on purpose.  I’m just saying that we should speak normally to people about our life with Jesus.  Witnessing is not an isolated action; it’s the overflow of our lives.  If my vocabulary changes because I am suddenly “witnessing,” then there’s something seriously wrong with either how I speak about Christ, or how I speak in my everyday life.  In the end, the way we live–our day in, day out approach to the challenges and the people around us–says more about our faith than any words we speak.

Especially when we use the wrong words completely.

Lest you think I am being a bit heavy today, let me finish with a story about how my wife inadvertently started a cult.  Once upon a time, she who would someday be Wife of My Heart was a new Christian on a missions trip to Mexico.  She was talking to a little boy, trying to tell him about the love of Christ.  My bride’s love for God is amazing; her command of Spanish, less so.  She told the boy that Jesus died for his sins, but the boy seemed puzzled.  She repeated her message; he looked at her strangely, but listened.

In Spanish, “Pecado” means, “sin.”

In Spanish, “Pescado” means, “fish.”

I picture this little boy going home and telling his family of the angel who appeared to him to tell him of Christ’s love for the family goldfish.  I see the word spreading through the land, and a whole new understanding of bumper sticker fishes coming to light.

O.K., so I guess words are important, too.

The Accidental Witness

number 1“You know, a couple of weeks ago I really hated your guts!”

Lovely.

Several questions hit my mind all at once.

“Why did this person hate my guts a couple of weeks ago?”

“Why does this person no longer hate my guts?”

“Why does this person feel the need to tell me this in line at the supermarket?”

“Who is this person?”

I see that some backstory is required here.  I was nineteen years old, and working at a grocery store.  My shift was over, and I was standing in line waiting to buy tasty snacks.  The woman behind me began to speak to me, and she opened her conversation with the aforementioned,

“You know, a couple of weeks ago I really hated your guts!”

There.  Now you are up to speed, and only as confused as I was at the time.  Remember, I was only nineteen.  I would not be a middle school teacher (and thus immune to such remarks) for many years yet.

Fortunately, the woman continued speaking, and allowed me to figure out what was going on.  You see, I had recently become a Christian, and I was pretty excited about my new life.  She had been a Christian for many years, but had turned away from God.  Somehow, life had harmed her, and she had blamed it on God.  This had turned into anger, and bitterness, and separation.

One day she had found herself in my checkout line at the grocery store.  As she waited, she heard me “chattering” (her word) with a friend from church, who was also in line.   As she put it, “You were so stinking happy about God, I wanted to puke!”

That’s customer service, right there.  You don’t get vomit inducements at just any store.

She went on to explain that, though I was oblivious, God had begun to work in her at that moment.  She spent several days hating me, even cursing me (delightful!) for being such a “Ninny” (again, her word).  Then, slowly, she began to deal with Jesus.

And He with her.

Now she was standing behind me in line, thanking me for helping to bring her back to Christ.

Uh…no problem.

If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you are His witness.

Every day.

All the time.

Like it.

Or not.

Trust me; the above episode did not fill me with pride.  On the contrary, even thinking about it now gives me the willies.  Because really, here’s the question: How many times has God done that?  Or how many times has he tried, but I wasn’t cooperating?  For all the occasions when I have bumblingly “witnessed” to people, how often has it been my life that overrode my words—for good or for ill?

I have another story of being an “accidental witness,” but it will have to wait for tomorrow.  For now, I’ll leave you with this question: Are you living your life in a way that proclaims Christ, even when you’re not “proclaiming Christ?”

In short, Beloved, are you an accidental witness?

The List

number 1It happens every time.

Whenever I get some time off, I immediately think of all the things I have to get done during my time off.  I want to be organized—knowing that organization is key to any successful endeavor—so I create it.

The List.

It does not come into being quickly.  The List takes time. It must be carefully thought out, organized, prioritized.  The list is fluid, growing and evolving through the first hours and days of freedom.  One does not simply jot The List down on a scrap of paper with pencil or pen or crayon—no, Friend, that would be unworthy of such a document.  The List must be crafted on the computer, because computers are important and efficient.  Things happen when you use a computer.  Things like checking Facebook and playing solitaire, which appear frivolous but are in fact essential to the free flow of ideas and inspiration.

One must consider all aspects of life when creating The List.   There are household issues—cleaning, organizing, repairing.  For example, #35 on my current list reads, “Reclaim garage from a year of neglect and failed projects.” There are family items, like “Have quality time with kids,” and “Reclaim marriage from a year of neglect and failed projects.”  Then of course we have personal goals covering things like writing (#2, “Write a bunch of blog posts so that I’m not always three days behind and writing in a blind panic,”) and exercise (#17, “Reclaim body from a year of neglect and failed projects.”)

It is crucial to develop the list carefully, because it will define my time off.  I have to see, in great detail, just what I will fail to accomplish during my vacation.  You see, there is a very powerful, predictable pattern at work whenever I make a list.  For example, let’s say that I have a week off, and the list already created.  The days will go something like this:

Day 1 Rest, nap in my chair, and read fluff.  After all, God commands us to rest, and I wouldn’t want to upset him right at the beginning of my vacation.

Day 2 Accomplish many things that are not on the list.  These would be things like laundry and dishes, which do not have to be done today, but will give me a sense of quick gratification at my ability to accomplish, as well as allowing for cheap shots at my family for not having done these things already.

Day 3 Go to the hardware store and buy lots of materials with which to attack the most difficult, and least likely to be accomplished, item on The List.  Like, say, “Build an underground bomb shelter/game room.”

Day 4 Admit that the weather, geological conditions, and my general lack of skills and training render the Day 3 project undoable.  Go play, because, hey you can’t work all the time, right?

Day 5 Make one of the phone calls on the phone call section of The List.  Leave a message.  Retire to my chair for many hours while waiting for the phone call to be returned, because I wouldn’t want to miss that important call while I was off doing something else.  That would be inefficient.

Day 6 Realize that my vacation is almost over and that I have accomplished nothing of value.  Check The List to verify that elves have not come in the night to finish everything on my behalf.  “Pad” The List with items I would have done anyway—like “trim toenails”—to create the impression that I am really a powerhouse.  Do the heavy mental lifting to conclude that, if I worked nonstop for the remainder of my time off, I could not achieve half of what is on The List.  Get twitchy and frustrated and take said frustration out in passive aggressive attacks on my family, prompting them to dream of the day I go back to work.

Day 7 One of two things happens at this point.  Either I continue in the path of frustration and stress, causing my family to devise plans for an “accident” to claim the insurance money, or I get a grip.  Getting a grip involves looking at Scripture and reading passages such as

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9.

And

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”  Why, you don’t even know what will happen tomorrow…Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

Should I refrain from making lists?  No, it’s good for me to plan and try to use my time effectively.  But I need to remember that The List is not The Lord.  It’s OK if I don’t get it all done; in fact, it’s guaranteed that I won’t.  (As my son points out, I add two things to The List for every one that I cross off.)

What I need to do is remember that my time is His time.  Every day, every moment is a gift, and I should spend it accordingly.  That might eliminate a little of the fluff, and help me to accomplish what is really important.

Like solitaire…I’m getting really good at solitaire…