A Life Worthy

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord  (Ephesians 6:4).

I teach middle school.

You’re welcome.

In the era of COVID, I’ve been in a lot of how-do-we-get-back-to-school teacher meetings, and one of the major areas of focus has been how to build relationships even though we’re teaching from a distance. The big idea is that kids learn better if they have a positive relationship with their teacher.  I have some questions about the validity of this in a classroom setting–even a traditional one. I learned plenty in school, and don’t recall many significant teacher relationships. For that matter, my wife aced her AP test and refers to her teacher as a slave driver.

Be that as it may, I have no doubt that this idea is spot on when it comes to the home. Fathers, our job is to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. The stuff we’re teaching goes way beyond number sense and punctuation. We’re teaching life, and life eternal. That takes a relationship that is honest and deep and close and open to vulnerability. Hence the do not exasperate your children part of this verse. A frustrated, isolated, embittered child is not gonna be open to Life Lessons with Daddy.

Basically, if they are going to learn from you, they have to believe you.

So be someone they can believe.

Happy Friday, Beloved.

“Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise–”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Those of you who are paying attention know I covered these verses yesterday.

Gold star for you.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my mother this summer. She’s 82, and has a hip that’s rapidly failing from arthritis. That would be the 2nd hip to go bad. This has caused severe pain and extremely limited mobility. Add to that her memory, which is more than a bit shaky these days, and a host of other age-related health issues, and it’s been a rough summer for Mom.

This verse has been on my mind as my sonly duties have morphed from picking her up for a doctor’s appointment to picking her up after a fall, from grabbing her some groceries to helping her eat them. The definition of “Honor” has changed over time, and I need to change with it. When I was a kid, honoring was pretty much the same as obeying. As a teen, honor meant trying to make her proud of me, or at least not embarrassing her. I remember a particularly painful middle-school sports award banquet where the coach forgot to call my name, and I actually waved my hand around to remind him that I was there.

Sorry, Ma.

When I left home, a big part of honoring my mom lay in simply not forgetting her birthday–which only happened the one time. Then came marriage and kids and honor meant remembering to involve her in family events and holidays, even when it was a hassle and involved two or three Thanksgivings on the same day.

Now, well, it’s changing again, and I’m not quite sure how it works. Today honor is about making decisions on Mom’s behalf and helping her do things she has always done for herself and comforting her when she’s afraid and taking a measure of authority over this woman whose word was law for all my growing years.

And trying to do it while helping her retain her dignity as she sits wide-eyed in a wheelchair crying from the pain and foggy from the pain meds and asking me why this is happening to her.

Well, beloved, it seems that I am using you as my personal therapist this morning. Thanks for letting me vent, and remember that life and circumstances and needs will all change, but the call to honor does not.

Honor your parents today, however they are, wherever they are.

Happy Wednesday, Beloved

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1).

Parents, you know you love this verse.

Plaster it on your kid’s wall…on your kid’s lunch box…bathroom mirror…

Heck–plaster it on your kid.

Kids, I got a little something for you here. You know that phrase, “in the Lord,” that Paul uses? It means basically the same thing as when Paul told wives to submit to their husbands, “as unto the Lord.” See, no matter how amazing your parents are, you may not always catch the wisdom in what they decide for you. Furthermore, Paul knows that some parents are not exactly the strongest, wisest, most obeyable folks out there. But your job is to obey your parents as an act of obedience to God. You have to trust that God knows what he’s doing, even when you may wonder about the people he’s put in charge of you. So, unless your parents are taking you in a direction that clearly violates God’s law–

and curfew does not–

you gotta suck it up, trust, and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way

to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.

That’s one of those hokey, old-timey hymns that happens to make a ton of sense.

Happy Monday, Beloved.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32).

I have been married for over half my life…and I still don’t have it figured out.

How is it that, by saying “I do,” I ceased to be Michael and became the less attractive half of “Michael and Cathy?” Every subsequent decision made and action taken and moment lived is no longer just a Me, but an Us.

Until the end of always

I love it, but I don’t fully get it, you know?

And marriage, as amazing and wonderful and mysterious as it is, is only a dim echo of what exists between Jesus and his church. The Lord of Everything and his Bride, made up of schleps like me who have been united and made holy by his endless, depthless grace.

I don’t get it…but I’ll take it.

Beyond the end of always

Happy Thursday, Beloved

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:26-27).

I gotta admit, I freaked out a little bit the first time I read this verse, so many moons ago. Because, well, I was reading a little too fast, and it sounded like I was personally responsible for the spiritual development of my as-yet-unmet future wife.

Then I read a little more carefully–always a good idea–and realized that Paul was expounding on what Christ has done for us, not what I was supposed to do for my bride. We are the church, and Jesus has cleansed us and made us holy and removed our sins–something I could never do for myself, let alone anyone else. This was a huge relief.

Then, my perspective changed again. It does that from time to time.

I mean, look, Paul put these words here for a reason–he wasn’t getting paid by the word.

Of course, I am not responsible for Cathy’s relationship with Christ.

But I am responsible before God for what I do to encourage her relationship with Christ.

Am I washing Cathy in the word of God? Am I bathing her in prayer, encouraging her in her walk, leading her in worship and acts of service? Am I pouring my energy into the life of my Beloved as Christ has done with me?

I’ll let those questions remain rhetorical. Probably better for everyone that way.

Happy Tuesday, Beloved