A Life Worthy

However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Eph. 5:33).

And, there it is.

Remember, this is still in the context of mutual submission. The husband submits by putting his wife first, even when he would rather be first, which is pretty much always. The wife submits by showing respect for her husband as the leader of her home, even when she figures she has a better way of doing things.

Again, probably pretty much always.

But Michael, how do I love her when she acts like such a crow?

Oh, Oh, but Michael, how am I supposed to follow this guy? He couldn’t find his way out of a cardboard box with the flaps left open!

Pray, Beloved. Pray and trust and obey and pray.

Here’s the kicker: Husband, as you continue to love your wife, really truly looking to her needs and not your own, you may just find her becoming more and more lovable in your eyes. Wife, as you show true respect for your husband, trusting God to lead through him, you might just see the Holy Spirit building him into a strong man of God you are proud to follow.

Then again, maybe not…but it is a command, so make it work.

Happy Friday, Beloved

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:28-30).

If you have ever seen me with a bowl of ice cream and a novel whilst reclining in my Daddy chair, you will have no doubt that I love myself.

Of course, not all the things that I might classify “love” are in fact healthy for me. Sometimes I pamper myself when I should exercise self-discipline. Sometimes I am overly critical when I should cut myself some slack. Sometimes I eat things that are undeniably toxic because they taste of yumminess. My self-love is imperfect as I am imperfect, and I have no doubt that my love for Cathy suffers similar flaws.

But

God isn’t calling me to perfection; he is calling me to perspective and persistence. He is calling me to love Cathy as I love myself, and not just in the big, abstract picture but in the little, everyday snapshots.

This runs counter to my flesh, so it’s going to take some time…like the rest of my life.

I’m willing.

Happy Wednesday, Beloved

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her… (Ephesians 5:25)

I love movies. Some of my favorites are those “One man must save his beloved from a host of evil dudes aaaand a burning building after flinging himself from a jet aircraft and diving to the depths of the Pacific where he battles terrorists and defuses a nuclear bomb with his Leatherman while clad only in cargo shorts and a Costco dad-shirt ” kind of movies. I like to imagine myself in Hero-Dude’s place. I like to think, “Yeah, I’d do that. I’d skydive without a parachute into a flaming skyscraper to save my bride. I’d go mano a mano against a dozen professional bad guys to protect the wife of my heart. I’d eat the bomb in the faint hope that my innards would save her from fiery oblivion. I’d give myself up for her…

But will I clean the kitchen? Or fix the broken desk drawer that she’s been asking about for months? Or stay awake to listen when she’s anxious and needs to talk but I need to be up at 0-dark-thirty and I desperately crave sleep…

You see, the chances are that I will not be called upon to literally die for my wife. If the need arises, I think and hope and pray that I will do so without blinking, but let’s face it–those moments are rare in the life of a middle-school teacher. But there’s more to “giving yourself up” than a one-time sacrifice that the world will see and applaud and turn into a blockbuster film starring a former Green Beret turned actor with significantly better hair and biceps and nostrils than yours.  Yes, Christ went to the Cross for his Beloved, and that was beyond anything we can imagine. But before he went to the Cross, he went to his people and he lived with them and he loved them and he served them. Nothing was beneath Jesus as he demonstrated his love. The Creator of Everything washed feet and played with children and cooked meals and…gave himself.

Can you do that today, Husband? Can you give yourself up for your wife in small ways, unseen and unpraised by the world? You stand ready to make the big sacrifice–will you make the small ones just as readily? Because I promise you this–you may not be called on to leap into danger today, but you will be called on to leap into discomfort.

Will you take the leap?

Happy Monday, Beloved.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

Submission is the essence of relationship.  

Not really my favorite thing, but there it is.

When we put ourselves first, we aren’t really capable of loving anyone.  Our own desires blind us to what the other person needs and wants. When we learn to submit, to see the other person’s needs and put them ahead of our own, we take a big step in learning to love.  

Jesus provided the perfect example of submission. Without his submission to the Father, we would be forever lost. When we follow his example, we honor him and build godly relationships at the same time.

This verse leads into Paul’s famous section on submission.  Paul is going to talk about husbands and wives, parents and children, even slaves and masters.  No matter what the relationship, the principle is the same.

Put the other first.  

Don’t worry about what you need, or what you think you need, or what the world is screaming that you need.  Trust all that to God, and focus on the other person.

So, who do you need to submit to today?  Gird your loins, Beloved—this oughta be fun!

Happy Thursday

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs  (Ephesians 5:19).

I remember a Sci-Fi program once upon a time in which the heroes were trying to communicate with Mysterious Alien Race #5. They had a high-tech translator gadget thingie, but there was a problem. Although our heroes were able to understand words and phrases and even sentences, they still couldn’t make sense of the aliens’ speech. It just seemed like random names and places with no context or connection.

Then cameth the “Ah-ha” moment.

It turned out that Mysterious Alien Race #5 communicated almost entirely in metaphors. Everything they said was tied to shared stories from their cultural history. Just like if I say, “Romeo and Juliet on the balcony,” or “Julius Cesar crossing the Rubicon,” or “Fonzie jumping the shark,” I convey a wealth of meaning to those who know our socio-cultural history. It’s a very efficient way to communicate…if you know the references. Further, speaking like this binds people together in a shared culture.

This is what Paul wants us to do. He is calling us to speak to each other in the language of our faith. Let the metaphors of Truth strengthen us and draw us closer together.

It’s like being a Star Wars geek, only it’s the Bible, so it’s better.

Yes it is.

Happy Tuesday, Beloved.