…I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”  My times are in your hands… (Psalm 31:14).

I prayed this passage twice yesterday.

The first time was over my friend John, just before he went into surgery to remove a mass from his brain.

The second time, about twelve hours later, was over his wife, mother, and daughter after they heard that the surgery was most likely unsuccessful.

The first prayer was much easier.

You see, the first time, I wasn’t really trusting God with my friend.  I mean, I sorta was, but mostly I was trusting God for the outcome that I wanted.  There is a difference.  I don’t know if this makes sense; I’m not at my clearest today.  But in that second prayer, and the many prayers to come, my friend, his wife, and all his family and friends are going to have to come to grips with the depth of those words.  God can certainly heal my friend, and I pray that he will.

But he might not.

He is our God.  Our times are in his hands.

Usually those words bring comfort.  Last night, they tasted like dirt.

They are, nonetheless, true.  He is God.  He is in control.  We cannot dictate; we can only trust.  We trust in his love for us.  We trust that he knows what’s best, wants what’s best, is what’s best.  We trust that he is good because of his Word, because of his track record, and because he is ultimately all that we have.  Our lives are his to command.

Sometimes I really hate that.

My friend and brother John will trust God.  That’s the kind of man he is.   And God will use John to bring glory to himself.  That’s the kind of God he is.  In what manner will this happen?  I don’t know.  I do know that God will be there every step of the way.  And that is worth trusting.

And you, Beloved?  Can you, will you, dare you say the words?

Hold my hand; we’ll say them together.

I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”  My times are in your hands.

Amen