Wheat,

Oh Wheat

You’re so much more than just a treat.

You are the core of all I eat.

I wrap bread ‘round a piece of meat,

Or bake a chocolate cake—so sweet.

You make my dining life complete,

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

No other food can ere compete

With you; it would be vain conceit

For fruits or fats to think they mete

The same delight.  I must repeat

You are the grain I love to greet.

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

You’ve earned concern from my helpmeet.

She fears that you we must delete

Low energy and fat to beat,

Diet doldrums to defeat,

So we may join the food elite.

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

Is it true that you deplete

My strength, and make me so effete

That I grow weak upon my feet

And cannot be a prime athlete

With you, oh Wheat? ‘Tis true, oh Wheat?

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

I can’t believe that you’re replete

With ills from which I must retreat.

How could you be worse than a beet

Or something nasty, like mincemeat?

I don’t believe you’re Death’s hoofbeat.

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

My bride has no wish to mistreat

Her family, nor would she browbeat

With food reminiscent of concrete.

Forgive me if I’m indiscreet,

But gluten-free food tastes like peat.

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

Sense and Wisdom we entreat—

Should we attempt this massive feat

And lose the foodstuff that’s so neat?

I tremble and I feel petite.

My heart within me starts to bleat.

Oh Wheat

 

Oh Wheat

For if we do, we will not cheat,

Though people think that we’re offbeat.

If we determine that ‘tis meet,

We’ll send you out into the street,

Eat other things, and seem upbeat.

Oh, wheat.

But I don’t wanna.