A Letter to My Children About Homosexuality

heartsHey Kids,

There has been a lot of hullabaloo in the news lately over same sex marriage.  Many people–even some Christians–are lauding the recent Supreme Court ruling as a triumph for equality.  The slogan “Love Wins” is, basically, everywhere.  Those who oppose gay marriage are responding, at times with malice.  In most arenas, sober, mature discussion has been blasted aside by venom and sarcasm.  At the ripe old age of sixteen, you may find it tough to navigate your way through a society that so strongly disagrees with what you’ve been taught.

Maybe I can help.

It will come as no shock to you that I don’t have all the answers.

But I do have a few.

Maybe four.

Here they are.

  1. God says that homosexuality is wrong.

Yes, he does.  As people of God, you can’t back away from that fact.

Now, there are three kinds of folks you might find yourself in a conversation with on this subject.  The first is the Christian who agrees with you.  Don’t argue with this guy.  He’s already on your side.  The second is the person who doesn’t believe in God, or who doesn’t trust the Bible.  Frankly, there’s not much you’re going to say that will convince him that homosexuality is sin.  At the moment, he has bigger spiritual fish to fry.  We’ll talk more about him in a bit.

It’s the third guy you need to be ready for.  He is under the deception that homosexuality isn’t really a sin.  He may have weak contextual arguments from Scripture; he may simply argue that God is a fan of love in any and all forms.  This guy is dangerous.  And he is wrong.

Genesis 19.  Sodom and Gomorrah.  You know the story.  It’s the text that most people go to when addressing this subject, and for good reason.  God destroys two entire cities for rampant sin…the sin of homosexuality.  Jude confirms this in his letter to the believers, and 2 Peter addresses it as well.  In Romans, Paul declares homosexuality to be unnatural, and a result of Man’s abandonment of God.  And, of course, in Leviticus God clearly calls homosexuality “detestable.”

Yes, there are people who will argue with all of these examples, but frankly their arguments don’t hold up to a straightforward reading of the text and the application of some good old common sense.  Don’t take my word–or anyone else’s–for it–study the Scripture for yourself.

Let God be true, and every man a liar (Romans 3:4).

  1. The World doesn’t want to hear it.

When I was in college, a buddy and I decided to campaign for the office of God.  We argued that there should be term limits on deity, and that the time had come for fresh ideas.

We were joking…mostly.

The fact of it is, though we didn’t realize it, we were demonstrating a pretty ancient mindset. In Genesis, God said, “Let us make man in our image.”  For the rest of history, man has been saying, “Let us make God in our image.”  You see, most people don’t really believe that God exists–not as an actual person.  They see him as a philosophy, a societal construct that we use to teach right and wrong. As such, God can be reinvented, or thrown out entirely, to suit the current fashion.  That’s why you hear phrases like, “Well, I could never believe in a God that…”  Seriously, can you imagine any real person you would discuss like that?  “I could never believe in a Grandmother who was a terrible cook.”  Really?  I had one.  Your lack of belief did not make your great-granny’s Imitation Crab Casserole any less nasty, or my indigestion any less uncomfortable.

In the absence of a God who is a real person, people are free to make up their own rules.  Society becomes one giant game of Calvinball.

  1. Following God will not make you popular

If you choose to believe the God of the Bible when it comes to the issue of homosexuality–or any other issue, for that matter–you will encounter grief.  Just gird your loins and get ready for it.  I don’t say this lightly.  You are my kids, and I would love to protect you from every hurt and have the world adore you.  I would choose to see you lauded for your strength and grace and intelligence and Godly character.  But if you stand for truth–and I pray that you do–that ain’t gonna happen.

People will laugh at you.

People will call you hateful.

People will insult your intelligence.

People will ignore your arguments and attack your person.

It will hurt.  It will be frustrating.  It will make you want to back down, to make nice and let everyone think you’re spiffy.  But you can not.  You must not.  Because…

  1. You have an enemy…but he isn’t gay.

When someone ignores the truth, when someone mocks God, when someone attacks you for your beliefs, it is easy to see him as an enemy.

But he’s not your enemy.

He’s the guy you’re here to rescue.

Look, I’m no fan of the “victim” mentality, but the fact is that homosexuals are victims.  They have been lied to and preyed upon by society, by politicians, and by the Father of Lies himself–Satan.

What lies, you ask?  Well, one of them–that God does not call homosexuality sin–we’ve already talked about.  But there is another, even more prevalent issue you need to be ready to address, and it goes like this: Homosexuality is not a choice; people are born that way.  You can’t condemn people for doing what is natural for them.

Two things:  First, the evidence is still not conclusive–not even close–that homosexuality is genetic, so that argument doesn’t hold as much water as it might.  But what if it is?  What if, just for the sake of discussion, we say that homosexuality is genetic?  Well, then we get to Second.  Second: just because something comes naturally does not make it right, moral, or good.  We live in a fallen world.  The effects of the fall reach even to the genetic level.  There is an established genetic predisposition towards all sorts of addictions, but we don’t encourage the alcoholic, the meth user, or the gambler to “do what comes naturally” to them.  In fact, we encourage them to stand firm and fight their addiction, to transcend the grip of sin in their lives.  We call them, with the help of the Holy Spirit and their brothers and sisters in Christ, to overcome.

A Christian who is caught up in homosexuality just might be convinced by biblical arguments to leave the lifestyle.  The unbeliever?  Highly unlikely.  So how do you rescue those who don’t see a need for rescue?

You pray for them.  Not at them, not about them, but for them.  You stand up for them against the rulers and powers of this dark world, against the true enemy of whom they are unaware.

You listen to them.  Each is a person, not just a sinner.  Each has his or her own story, their own personal struggle.  Treat them accordingly.

You stand with them.  Don’t lower the bar of righteousness, but don’t beat them with it, either.  How would you respond to a friend who was cutting, or drinking, or cheating, or skipping out on God?  You would tell them the truth, wrapped in love.

You know, kinda like Jesus did.

 

I know I’ve droned on for a while here, and there are still plenty of questions I haven’t addressed.  But, like with every aspect of this Dad thing, I’m doing what I can.  Frankly, I would rather wrap you both up in bubble wrap and keep you from all that is dark and warped and icky in the world.  But that’s not what I signed on for when I promised God to raise you for Him.  And I know that is not what would bring you real joy.  Instead, I pray that you will continue to grow, confident in your faith and in your ability to share that faith with a sad and aching world.

I love you.


Comments

A Letter to My Children About Homosexuality — 8 Comments

  1. Great writing based on sound theology and sound psychology .

    I am not even going to make my argument on the authority of the Bible , since some people reject the authority of the Bible

    Truth is Truth , and all Truth is Gods Truth.

    Truth is ubiquitous , eternal and immutable . Natural laws cannot be disputed.

    I often argue apart from what God says in His Word , Nature speaks for itself. Just as the Sun comes up every morning and sets in the evening in all parts of the world, so is the Truth about Natural Laws.

    On scientific level homosexuality is abnormal :

    1. Just as Homo sapiens are imbued with sexual organs to desire the opposite sex ; in the same vein , the lower species are also designed with sexual organs for pleasure and reproduction .

    Therefore , if homosexuality is genetic and a true practice of natural organism; I humbly ask how come there are no homosexual monkeys , rats, cows, flies , whales etc?

    2. Scientifically , reproduction can occur naturally by two opposite sex copulating ; therefore , if homosexuality is a rightful sexual practice , how can reproduction occur ?

    3. The human anatomy is designed for specific purposes . For instance , the ears are designed to hear , eyes to see, mouth to speak ; if the practice of homosexuality is accurate , then the sexual anatomy would have been designed differently.

    It is abnormal for a female to be with a female sexually and a male likewise ; male to be with a male.

    Sexual intercourse is designed for pleasure and reproduction with the accurate organs , in the accurate place with the accurate genetical purposes , pleasure , bonding , intimacy , expression of love and sub sequentially reproduction .

    From my above inductive argument , it is clear that homosexuality is an abnormal practice that violates Natural Laws.

    We encourage people to seek counseling work through the intrapyschic conflict stemming from childhood sexual abuse, over identification with a significant other, transgenerational sins of sexual perversion and seek deliverance from demonic possession homosexuality ,?sexual perversion and influences .

    I have seen God do miracles with people possessed or struggling with homosexual temptations , urges; and other sexual sins which defile : spirit, soul , body and relationships .

    There is still hope in Jesus mighty name ‘ ! There still power in the love of Jesus ! There is still power in the mighty Blood of Jesus to deliver , safe and restore anyone willing to be whole ! Amen !

      • Hi again, Ashtyn
        I would not argue that homosexual behavior is not evident in various animal species. However, two thoughts come to mind. First, the claim that something is “natural” does not make it right or good. We all have urges and desires that we would enjoy satisfying. Every time someone cuts me off on the freeway, I am filled with a very “natural” desire to do great bodily, or at least vehicular, harm. But I restrain those desires…so far. This desire to restrain ourselves is part of what separates us from the animal world. You know, that and opposable thumbs.
        Second, ours is a sinful and broken world. We are taught that creation groans, waiting for Christ to return and set all things right. I see homosexual behavior among animals as one example of a broken world.
        We were designed by a thoughtful, caring, and intelligent God. He understands design function, and he created male and female bodies to work together. That’s the most “natural” and logical viewpoint I can come to.
        Thanks again for engaging in respectful, thought-provoking debate. I do appreciate your thoughts.

  2. Thanks. I tried to speak truth in love to my adult child,and received exactly what you described,back. Painful.

    • Hello, Ashtyn
      Thank you for your comment and the link. I am leaving the link visible so that anyone who wishes to research your viewpoint can do so. I read most of the information on the website, and I am familiar with many of these arguments. I just don’t agree with them. A point-by-point debate is not going to happen here, but in general I can say that the bulk of the arguments in favor of biblical homosexuality are based on obscure translations and tenuous logic. I will address one point your site made, just by way of illustration. According to your sources, the words in Leviticus, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with
      womankind: it is abomination,” should be translated, “And with a male, thou shalt not lie down in a woman’s bed; it is an abomination.” Your source explained this as a prohibition against two men borrowing a woman’s bed for the purposes of sleeping. This seems an awkward and unlikely translation to me.
      I guess I’m just a simple man–though hopefully not a simpleton. A straightforward reading of the text seems best to me.
      Ashtyn, thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my article. Furthermore, I thank you for choosing to disagree with me in a respectful manner. I enjoy the conversation.
      You are welcome here anytime.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *