“Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise–”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2-3)
Those of you who are paying attention know I covered these verses yesterday.
Gold star for you.
My mother passed away a few years ago. She made it to just shy of her 85th birthday. In her last few years, Mom had two bad hips, a foot held together with pins, a shaky memory, and a host of other age-related health issues.
Over those last years, my sonly duties morphed from picking her up for a doctor’s appointment to picking her up after a fall, from grabbing her some groceries to helping her eat them. The definition of “Honor” changed over time, and I needed to change with it. When I was a kid, honoring was pretty much the same as obeying. As a teen, honor meant trying to make her proud of me, or at least not embarrass her. I remember a particularly painful middle-school sports award banquet where the coach forgot to call my name, and I actually waved my hand around to remind him that I was there.
Sorry, Ma.
When I left home, a big part of honoring my mom lay in simply not forgetting her birthday–which only happened the one time. Then came marriage and kids and honor meant remembering to involve her in family events and holidays, even when it was a hassle and involved two or three Thanksgivings on the same day.
As she got older, honor was about making decisions on Mom’s behalf and helping her do things she had always done for herself and comforting her when she was afraid and taking a measure of authority over this woman whose word was law for all my growing years.
And trying to do it while helping her retain her dignity as she sat wide-eyed in a wheelchair crying from the pain and foggy from the meds and asking me why this was happening to her.
Now that she is gone, honoring is remembering, with thanksgiving, the woman who loved me and raised me and did her very best.
Beloved, life and circumstances and needs will all change, but the call to honor does not.
Honor your parents today, however they are, wherever they are.
Happy Tuesday, Beloved
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