A Life Worthy

Category: Dad Stuff

  • Holding Tight…Letting Go Friday    8/25/17

    Holding Tight…Letting Go Friday    8/25/17

    I remember teaching you to ride a bicycle.  You were so scared, the bicycle so big.  It was, in truth, a tiny machine, long since sold at a yard sale. On that morning, however,  it was your Goliath to conquer, your stallion to tame and to claim.  

    “Deeda, hold on tight.  You won’t let go, will you?”

    Never, if I have the choice.

    So up and down the sidewalk we went, you gripping the handlebars, me gripping the back of the seat, both of us holding on for dear life.  At first it was all I could do to keep you upright, your natural inclination being to kiss the pavement.  Little by bit, you steadied, you strengthened, and you began to pull away.

    From me.

    I felt it before you did…the balance, the control, the confidence coursing through your little body.  I still held on, but my hand was superfluous.  I held on not for you, but for me.

    “Deeda, you’re still holding on, right?”

    Right, but…I can’t hold on forever, can I?

    Oh please, God…can I?

    May I?

    No.

    I remember—I know it sounds crazy, but I remember—the first glimpse of daylight between my hand and the seat post.  I remember the feel of the metal as it slipped from my fingertips 

    and I saw, in that flicker of a moment, that this was the pattern of my life.

    Hold

    Protect

    Teach

    Challenge

    Guide

    Release

    I have always known, from the moment I first held you, that letting go was part of the job.  Because, of course, you are not mine—you belong to your Heavenly Father, and he has plans that will take you far beyond my puny grasp. I have always known that my job was to prepare you to leave.

    But knowing doesn’t make it easier.  Trust me on that.

    So do your old man a favor, huh?  Cut me some slack when it comes to the whole “Letting go” thing.  I may not always release as quickly as I should—or at least, as quickly as you would like. I’ve had nightmares of you driving off to college, dragging me along by the bumper as I try to attach training wheels to the car.

    I promise not to do that.

    Probably.

    By the way, watching you ride your bike that long-ago morning was pure delight.  It was a delight that I pray you get to experience one day, the happiness that comes from seeing your beloved child head out boldly into the great big world.  So those tears in my eyes, yeah, those were pure joy—joy tempered by loss, joy strengthened by sacrifice.

    The joy of being a dad.

    Your dad.

  • Flight One-a-Day Thursday    10/13/16

    Flight One-a-Day Thursday    10/13/16

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

    I know, I got it backwards.  I did Proverbs 3:6 yesterday and now I’m doing 3:5.

    Kid, if that’s the most confusing thing to happen to you today, color yourself lucky.

    This morning, my son is flying 2,149.5 miles to check out a college.

    I’m not a fan.

    Oh, he has my permission to go–it’s a great opportunity, they’re paying for the trip, the school has a great reputation in the field he wants to pursue, blah, blah, blah.

    Still, no fano meo.

    My reasons are multitudinous and thoroughly righteous.  You see, if he visits the college, he might like it.  If he likes it, he might go.

    If he goes, he might stay.

    In college you meet people.  You explore places.  You make contacts, get internships, maybe job offers.  Maybe one of those persons you meet is the person, know what I mean?  Maybe one of the places becomes the place.  So you settle down, sink roots, make money, make babies, make a life.

    2149.5 miles away

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart…

    But with my son?

    I have a feeling this may be a much wilder ride than coming down the mountain with no brakes.

    Happy Thursday, Beloved.

  • Wild Ride One-a-Day Wednesday    10/19/16

    Wild Ride One-a-Day Wednesday    10/19/16

    In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight (Proverbs 3:6).

    If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, may I suggest that now would be a good time?  Otherwise, today’s post will not make a whole lot of sense.  Just a suggestion–you do what you gotta do.

    Call me Mr. Toad.

    So all we had to do was get Teensy down the hill–¾ of a mile of steep, winding, rutted, half-washed-out dirt road.  With no power, which translates into no power steering and no power brakes.

    Sweet

    Alec and I gave the old girl a shove, hopped in, and held on tight.

    It took about two minutes…or twenty years…kinda depends on your perspective.  I remember it in brief glimpses–hauling the wheel around tight turns, standing on the brakes to avoid going over the edge.  At one point we flew; that was interesting.  So very much dust.  It was a rollercoaster ride without the safety harness or the secure track.

    Metaphor for life, anyone?

    Maybe I should have gone with the alternate translation for today’s verse.  Instead of, “He will make your path straight,” I could have said, “He will direct your path.”  Cause the literal path down the mountain was pretty unstraight, but it was the path God directed–it was the only way to go.  And because it was God’s ordained path, we were as safe in our flying minivan as if we had been wrapped in our sleeping bags, snoozing in our high tower.

    So, yeah, we made it to the bottom of the hill, and Justin’s truck, and we jump started Teensy and were on our way.  Mundane things tinged with the colors of divine appointment.

    I wonder what adventure is in store for you today, Beloved?  Trust in Him, and hold on tight.

    Happy Wednesday

  • He Knows One-a-Day Tuesday    10/18/16

    He Knows One-a-Day Tuesday    10/18/16

     

    But as for me, I trust in you (Psalm 55:23b).

    Last weekend, my son and I went camping.  The campsite was an old fire observation tower, 40 feet above the ground.  We were about 20 miles from anything resembling civilization, out on gut-busting dirt roads.  The final push to get to the site required a ¾ mile trek up a steep, winding, rutted, half-washed-out dirt road. The whole thing was a 4X4 paradise.

    Except for the part where we were in a minivan, which made it less than paradisiacal.

    In any event, we made it…extremely barely.

    We had  two wonderful days of manly dad-son bonding time in our eyrie, which is great but not the point of this story.  The point came as we were preparing to leave.  Teensy, our minivan (What–you don’t name your cars?) was packed, the site was clean, the campfire was thoroughly out, and I turned the key to fire up the engine.

    click

    not vroom

    click

    not chugga-chugga-chugga…

    click.

    I checked for obvious signs of damage–the ride up had been pretty traumatic to poor Teensy–and found none.  The obvious conclusion was that something had been accidentally left turned on, and the battery was dead.

    May I remind you that we were pretty isolated?  In fact, aside from a few hunters, we hadn’t seen a soul in two days.  Certainly no one had ventured up the treacherous road and come near our tower.

    We were oh-so-seriously-stuck.

    And here comes the awesomeosity (thank you for being so patient).

    At the very moment that my guts began to clench and my throat began to swell, before we had a chance to pray anything more eloquent than, “God…help!” we heard voices.  Around the bend of the road appeared a man, two children, and a dog. The man smiled, greeted us, and asked, “Do you need help?  I think I have jumper cables in my truck.”

    Divine appointment? Ya, you betcha.  

    Angelic visitation?  I wouldn’t be surprised.

    I’ll finish this story tomorrow–I do have to get to work, after all.  The point for today is this:  While we were still eating our breakfast, long before we knew we even had a problem, God had a plan in motion to save us.  He knew the car wouldn’t start, and had Justin and his kids on their way up the mountain long before I ever turned the key.

    Chew on that today.

    Happy Tuesday, Beloved.

  • Plague Boy

    **This here’s a reprint from a few years ago, when I felt as remarkably unwell as I do today.  

    There’s no use denying it—I’ve got the crud.  For the last few days, I have hardly stirred from my big green chair.  I have slept, eaten, napped, read junk novels, snoozed, scrolled aimlessly through Facebook, slumbered, and slept.

    I’ve been sick.

    There are no spectacular symptoms I can point you to.  No raging fever, no projectile vomiting, no delirium—at least, none that I’ve noticed. I’m not bleeding, either internally or externally.  Neither pox nor pustules are in ready evidence.  I’m just totally wiped out.

    Frankly, I almost wish I had some better symptoms. (more…)

  • One-a-Day Friday 11/27/15

    number 1All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the LORD and he rules over the nations (Psalms 22:27-28).

    In the years following 1621, the colonists offered up their thanks on a variety of occasions.  On October 3, 1789, President George Washington proclaimed the first national day of thanksgiving in the United States.  Read his proclamation to these United States…go on, it’s not that difficult!

    By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

    Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor– and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

    Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be– That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks–for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation–for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war–for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed–for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted–for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

    And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions– to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually–to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed–to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord–To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us–and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

    Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

    Chew on this with your leftovers:  How does a proclamation like the one above fit the current concept of a “Separation of Church and State?”

  • One-a-Day Thursday 11/26/15

    number 1Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (1 Chronicles 16: 34).

    Busy day today.

    You’ve got a turkey to burn, cranberries to sauce, potatoes to mash, tables to set, dishes to break, shards to sweep up, relatives to endure enjoy…

    Beloved, take a moment, right now, before the craziness descends.  Offer your heart and your mind and your day and your life to Him in thanksgiving.  If you don’t do it now…

    Breathe deep, and thank him that he chooses to be good

    That he chooses to love you

    That he chooses to love you forever, not until he gets bored with you or you mess up in some way and displease him

    Because…no offense…but I’m sure that’s already happened.

    He could choose to stop loving you, but he won’t.

    It’s in his power, but it’s not in his nature.

    His love endures forever.

    You are his Beloved.  

    Forever

    Happy Thanksgiving, Beloved.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go clean the oven.  Don’t ask…Cajun Turkey

  • One-a-Day Wednesday 11/25/15

    That’s it.  No more plugs for my book, you know, the one called Thanksgiving for the Dad Man.  If you want it, you’ll just have to find it for yourself.

    number 1Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of lips that openly profess his name (Colossians 2: 6-7).

    The coming of spring brought, at long last, relief to the Pilgrims. They met Squanto, a member of a local tribe who was fluent in English.

    Squanto befriended the Pilgrims, teaching them how to plant corn, how and where to fish, and basically how to survive in their new land.  Squanto would stay with them, helping and guiding, for the rest of his life.

    That year, 1621, there was food.  Between hunting, fishing, and the crops they were able to raise, The Pilgrims had enough to make it through the winter.  After the harvest, they set aside a day to give thanks to God for allowing them to make it through the brutal times.  They invited their new friends and allies, the Wampanoag, to join in the festivities.  The hard work was just beginning, and there were plenty of difficulties in the days ahead, but God had shown himself capable of surmounting any challenge on behalf of his people.

    Ponderations: When you first received Christ as your Savior, you were probably “overflowing with thanksgiving,” as Paul encouraged.  Are you still? If not, what is keeping you from that? Are you willing to change what needs to be changed so you can overflow with thanksgiving again?

    Happy Wednesday, Beloved.

     

  • One-a-Day Thursday 11/19/15

    Hey, Look! An excerpt from my book Thanksgiving for the Dad Man.  Let me know what you think…

    number 1But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ… (Philippians 3:7-8).

    England in the 1500’s and 1600’s was a place of great religious freedom—you were free to attend the Anglican Church.  If, however, you didn’t agree with the Anglican Church, and chose to speak up about it, well…it stank to be you. You could look forward to hefty fines, imprisonment, and other extreme levels of governmental harassment.  One group of people experiencing this grief was the Puritans.  They felt that the Anglican Church was polluted with all sorts of non-biblical fluff, and they wanted to purify it.  Hence the name.

    Eventually, some of the Puritans decided that the Anglican Church was simply too far gone to work with, and they should separate from it.  These people called themselves Separatists.  Godly people, but not the most creative with names.  Anyway, it is from this group that the people we know as the Pilgrims came.

    In 1607, a group of Separatists decided to leave England and move to Holland, a country known for religious freedom.  Easier said than done, for while the King of England made life intolerable for Separatists, he would not allow them to leave.  The Pilgrims had to sneak out of the country, leaving everything behind.

    Question to chew on:  Beloved, what have you had to leave behind in order to follow Christ?

  • Family Worship

    number 1I am Husband.  I am Father.  I am called by God to be the spiritual leader in my home.  It’s one of those callings I have received, of which I want to live a life worthy.  Of.

    So I make plans to have Family Worship.  You know, a time to read Scripture, pray, discuss, and sing together as a family.  It is a great plan, and I am a great planner, and it never seems to work.

    I can envision it perfectly.  We begin shortly after dinner.  Everyone is home, the family is settling down for the night—it’s our own private vespers.  I play a little guitar, and my family is transported to the very throne room of God.  Then we read the Bible, and I expound upon the mysteries of Truth as my children sit, awestruck at their father’s wisdom, and my bride silently weeps with the knowledge that this spiritual Atlas is her soul mate.  As we pray, we are drawn, singly and corporately, closer to the Lord.  In nations around the globe, lives change and darkness is pushed back…

    It’s a really good vision.

    Pretty much better than the reality.

    See, the reality is that we seldom begin Family Worship until bedtime or well after bedtime.  You may recall that I get unreasonable after a certain hour—that’s about the time we usually start.  There’s no time for music, so we just pray, and it ends up being pretty rote.  Occasionally I’ll read Scripture—it takes about thirty minutes to make it through four lines because I am unreasonable and sleepy and because we have raised homeschoolers who like to actually understand what they read.

    When the kids were little, we used to all climb up on the bed together for Family Worship. It was cuddly.  These days we are all larger than we used to be, so we end up cramped and cross.  We jostle each other and jockey for position. Holding hands is always entertaining, with teenage siblings in the mix.

    At about this time the dog usually comes wandering in to lick any exposed feet, which transports you back from the Throne Room really quickly.  If the offended flesh happens to belong to one of my ladies, screaming and leaping ensues.  Meditation is replaced by pandemonium, and lives are not changed so much as threatened.

    And yet…

    I’ve got to figure that God is more pleased with our pathetic attempts than with my glorious visions.  We are a real family—frighteningly, annoyingly real—and I know that’s a priority for God. I’m not saying we can’t do better, because I know we can.  He deserves our prime time, not our leftovers. Still, we bring him what we have, and who we are, and he does not turn us away.

    As a Dad, I want to be a better leader.  I want to inspire my family, and, frankly, impress them with my spiritual manliosity.  It doesn’t often work out that way.  I’ve heard leadership described like this: If you think you are a leader, take a look behind you.   If someone is following, then you are leading.  If not, then you are just out for a walk.

    I look back, and they’re still with me.  So, for better or for worse, I am the spiritual leader of my family.  I will do all I can to do it right, and I will drink deeply of grace.

    I’m not pleased with our worship. Praise God, he is.