Category: Ephesians

“Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise–”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Sometimes we honor by looking both ways, just like they taught us.

Sometimes we honor by being brave when it really, really hurts.

Sometimes we honor by taking care of our brothers and sisters.

Sometimes we honor by telling the truth.

Sometimes we honor by sharing when we had it  first.

Sometimes we honor by coloring inside the lines.

Sometimes we honor by coloring outside the lines.

Sometimes we honor by standing tall.

Sometimes we honor by bowing low.

Sometimes we honor by praying.

Sometimes we honor by doing.

Sometimes we honor by speaking.

Sometimes we honor by keeping our mouths shut.

Sometimes we honor by learning the lesson.

Sometimes we honor by passing it on.

Show honor today, Beloved.

Happy Wednesday

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1).

Parents, you know you love this verse.

Plaster it on your kid’s wall…on your kid’s lunch box…bathroom mirror…

Heck–plaster it on your kids.

Kids, I got a little something for you here. You know that phrase, “in the Lord,” that Paul uses? It means basically the same thing as when Paul told wives to submit to their husbands, “as unto the Lord.” See, no matter how amazing your parents are, you may not always catch the wisdom in what they decide for you. Furthermore, Paul knows that some parents are not exactly the strongest, wisest, most obeyable folks out there. But your job is to obey your parents as an act of obedience to God. You have to trust that God knows what he’s doing, even when you may wonder about the people he’s put in charge of you. So, unless your parents are taking you in a direction that clearly violates God’s law–

and curfew does not–

you gotta suck it up, trust, and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way

to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.

That’s one of those hokey, old-timey hymns that happens to make a ton of sense.

Happy Tuesday, Beloved.

However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Eph. 5:33).

And, there it is.

Remember, this is still in the context of mutual submission. The husband submits by putting his wife first, even when he would rather be first, which is probably pretty much always. The wife submits by showing respect for her husband as the leader of her home, even when she figures she has a better way of doing things.

Again, probably pretty much always.

But Michael, how do I love her when she acts like such a crow?

Oh, Oh,but Michael, how am I supposed to follow this guy? He couldn’t find his way out of a cardboard box with the flaps left open!

Pray, Beloved. Pray and trust and obey.

Here’s the kicker: Husband, as you continue to love your wife, really truly looking to her needs and not your own, you may just find her becoming more and more lovable in your eyes. Wife, as you show true respect for your husband, trusting God to lead through him, you might just see the Holy Spirit building him into a strong man of God you are proud to follow.

Then again, maybe not…but it is a command, so make it work.

Happy Monday, Beloved

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32).

In a few weeks, I will have been married for over half my life…and I still don’t have it figured out.

How is it that, by saying “I do,” I ceased to be Michael and became the less attractive half of “Michael and Cathy?” Every subsequent decision made and action taken and moment lived is no longer just a Me, but an Us.

Until the end of always

I love it, but I don’t fully get it, you know?

And marriage, as amazing and wonderful and mysterious as it is, is only a dim echo of what exists between Jesus and his church. The Lord of Everything and his Bride, made up of schleps like me who have been united and made holy by his endless, depthless grace.

I don’t get it…but I’ll take it.

Beyond the end of always

Happy Friday, Beloved

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:28-30).

If you have ever seen me with a bowl of ice cream and a novel whilst reclining in my Daddy chair, you will have no doubt that I love myself.

Of course, not all the things that I might classify “love” are in fact healthy for me. Sometimes I pamper myself when I should exercise self-discipline. Sometimes I am overly critical when I should cut myself some slack. Sometimes I eat things that that are undeniably toxic because they taste of yumminess. My self-love is imperfect as I am imperfect, and I have no doubt that my love for Cathy suffers similar flaws.

But

God isn’t calling me to perfection; he is calling me to perspective and persistence. He is calling me to love Cathy as I love myself, and not just in the big, abstract picture but in the little, everyday snapshots.

This runs counter to my flesh, so it’s going to take some time…like the rest of my life.

I’m willing.

Happy Thursday, Beloved

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Ephesians 5:26-27).

I gotta admit, I freaked out a little bit the first time I read this verse. Because, well, I was reading a little too fast, and it sounded like I was personally responsible for the spiritual development of my as-yet-unmet future wife.

Then I read a little more carefully–always a good idea–and realized that Paul was expounding on what Christ has done for us, not what I was supposed to do for my bride. We are the church, and Jesus has cleansed us and made us holy and removed our sins–something I could never do for myself, let alone anyone else. That was a huge relief.

This morning, my perspective changed again. It does that from time to time.

I mean, look, Paul put these words here for a reason–he wasn’t getting paid by the word.

Of course, I am not responsible for Cathy’s relationship with Christ.

But I am responsible before God for what I do to encourage her relationship with Christ.

Am I washing Cathy in the word of God? Am I bathing her in prayer, encouraging her in her walk, leading her in worship and acts of service? Am I pouring my energy into the life of my Beloved as Christ has done with me?

I’ll let those questions remain rhetorical. Probably better for everyone that way.

Happy Wednesday, Beloved

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her… (Ephesians 5:25)

Last night Cathy and I went to a movie. It was one of those “One man must save his family from a host of evil dudes aaaand a burning building” kind of movies. I remember thinking, “Yeah, I’d do that. I’d leap from a crane 100 stories in the air into a flaming skyscraper to save my bride. I’d go mano a mano against a dozen professional bad guys to protect my beloved. I’d give myself up for her…

But will I clean the kitchen? Or fix the broken desk drawer that she’s been asking about for months? Or stay awake to listen when she’s anxious and needs to talk but I need to be up at 0-dark-thirty and I desperately crave sleep…

You see, the chances are that I will not be called upon to literally die for my wife. If the need arises, I think and hope and pray that I will do so without blinking, but let’s face it–those moments are rare in the world of the middle-school teacher. But there’s more to giving yourself than a one-time sacrifice that the world will see and applaud.  Yes, Christ went to the Cross for his Beloved. But before he went to the Cross, he went to his people and lived with them and loved them and served them. Nothing was beneath Jesus as he demonstrated his love. The Creator of Everything washed feet and fed children and cooked meals and…gave himself.

Can you do that today, Husband? Can you give yourself up for your wife in small ways, unseen and unpraised by the world? You stand ready to make the big sacrifice–will you make the small ones just as readily? Because I promise you this–you may not be called on to leap into danger today, but you will be called on to leap into discomfort.

Will you take the leap?

Happy Tuesday, Beloved.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, his body, of whom he is the savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands in everything (Eph. 5:22-24).

Oy, ve…it’s that passage.

Beloved, remember last Tuesday’s post? Paul spoke of being filled with the Holy Spirit. Over the next verses, he spoke of several manifestations of that filling–speaking praise, worshipping, giving thanks, and…submitting.

Submitting to each other–that was Friday’s verse.

And today we start to see what that looks like in a godly marriage.

Ladies, you are called to submit to your husbands as an act of submission to the Lord. That is an act of trust–not trust in your husband, but trust in your God. Of course, some husbands are strong and competent and easy to follow. Others…well, sorry Cathy. Regardless of who your partner is, there will be days when submission is no easy task.

Maybe today is one of those days.

And that is your spiritual challenge, Woman of God–trusting that the Father loves you, that he knows what he’s doing, and that he’s working in your husband even as he’s working in you.

Easy for you to say, Michael–you’re a man. You’re the one who gets submitted to.

Umm…have you seen tomorrow’s verses?

Happy Monday, Beloved

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

Submission is the essence of relationship.  

I hate that, but there it is.

When we put ourselves first, we aren’t really capable of loving anyone.  Our own desires blind us to what the other person needs and wants. When we learn to submit, to see the other person’s needs and put them ahead of our own, we take a big step in learning to love.  

Jesus himself provided us the perfect example of submission. Without his submission to the Father, we would be forever lost. When we follow his example, we honor him and build godly relationships at the same time.

This verse leads into Paul’s famous section on submission.  Paul is going to talk about husbands and wives, parents and children, even slaves and masters.  No matter what the relationship, the principle is the same.

Put the other first.  

Don’t worry about what you need, or what you think you need, or what the world is screaming that you need.  Trust all that to God, and focus on the other person.

So, who do you need to submit to today?  Gird your loins, Beloved—this oughta be fun!

Happy Friday

Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:19-20).

It’s time for a holiday.

I’m thinking Thanksgiving.

Look, I know it’s the middle of July, but whaddaya say? We’ll keep it simple. Forget the big meal–it’s too hot to be in the kitchen anyway. Don’t worry about setting a fancy table or driving out to Grandma’s house or dressing the kids up in racially insensitive costumes that perpetuate stereotypes and appropriate the culture of subjugated indigenous people groups. Let’s just do the part where we actually give thanks.

As you go through your day, make a  point of noticing the blessings in your life.  Chances are there are more of them than you think. Point them out to the people around you and praise God together.  Pick your favorite worship song and get it stuck in your head. In short, fill yourself with life and light today, and give a shout out to the One who knows you completely and somehow loves you anyway.

And if you want to eat a turkey sandwich and wear shoes with a buckle, who am I to stop you?

Happy Thursday, Beloved.